A conversation at work

Our desk phones display who is calling us, by name, if the caller is using a phone within the company. This is what happened this morning.

Me: (phone rings, VBostain displays) Hey girl.
Vicki: It's me!
Me: I know it's you, your name is on my phone.
Vicki: You said "who the hell is this".
Me: No I didn't.
Vicki: Yes you did!
Me: When? Just now?
Vicki: When I sent you that text message.
Me: What text message?
Vicki: The one I sent this morning and then you sent one back and said, "who the hell is this"
Me: You never sent me a text message.
Vicki: Yes I did, the one about the short bus.
Me: What short bus.
Vicki: In the text I sent you.
Me: I didn't GET a text. (thinking) Wait a minute. What number did you send it to cause I haven't had 3780 for about a year.
Vicki: I don't know. It's just programed under Robina and when you sent a reply it said "from Robina".
Me: But I didn't get a text message. My number is 9446 now.
{{{Silence}}}
Vicki: Oh shit. I still have 3780.

I have no idea why I laughed so hard. I had tears running down my face. It just reminded me of a Seinfeld episode or something! I REALLY needed a good laugh, too.

Updates

They were able to save Derrick's foot. He is having his fourth surgery today. They say it's the "biggie" but I'm not sure what that means. The surgery is with his ankle, again, and maybe this will determine if he can ever walk on it again, or how much use he will have. I just thank God that he got to keep it.

My husband ran a 1/2 marathon Saturday morning. Well, okay, so 1294 people ran! But there was one guy that had one leg. The other leg was a prosthetic, with one of the curved steel things to walk on. He ran the 1/2 as well, and he did a damn fine job! He ran faster than my husband did. There was also a 5k and the last person in was a girl with Downs. She jogged the whole way and she was SO proud of herself! I was very impressed with her determination. She had slowed way down and we all stood there and clapped and yelled for her and said, "KEEP GOING! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!" It was awesome!

My youngest son called me Saturday afternoon. He said he is doing fine and it isn't that bad there. He said it doesn't even seem like jail (school! Beth knows what I mean) and he knows a few guys in there. He volunteered to go to the AA classes. He said he only had three drinks that night. They had been at a Halloween party, went somewhere else and were on the way home. He said the next thing he knew the guy in the back, Matt, yelled Kekoa's name and then they hit. Matt wasn't hurt, and I don't know how cause he was on the floor behind Kekoa. He said not to worry about him. Even if the BOC comes back negative, he may have to serve some time because he violated his probation by having three drinks that night, which he admitted to.

My boy's dad went to see Brice Saturday. He'll be out on January 3rd. He is doing really well and excited about getting his life moving in the right direction. He wants to finish college, preferably Network Administration and then move back to San Diego. Beth now understands why Brice loved it there so much! Don't cha Beth??

I guess I'm doing okay. I can breath a sigh of relief now regarding my youngest son. I was physically sick with worry and stressed out. I'm not 100% yet, but hopefully I'll get there. I just ordered a book from Amazon called "Beyond Negative Thinking: Breaking The Cycle Of Depressing And Anxious Thoughts" by Joseph T. Martorano. I'm hoping this will help me deal with things better and get my mind back on track. I'm tired of thinking so many negative thoughts all the time and I want to be happy!!!

Sorry I haven't been around to your blogs, but I'm trying to catch up now. I just figured maybe you were curious about what has been going on so I thought I'd catch ya up.

News

Derrick isn't doing well. He may have to have his foot amputated. PLEASE pray that the skin graffs take and he will keep his foot.

A bonding company called today and said my son called them, asked them to call me. She said that HE said, "Please bail me out. I promise I'll just work until court". I had to say no. His father and I are afraid of what he may do to himself if he isn't there, or that he'll run and not go to court. I feel horrible and actually got sick last night.

Paul, I realize how you must feel about all this, but please know I do not condone DUI, but the results are NOT back so we still don't know if that' what caused the accident. They are now thinking he may have just fallen asleep because there were no skid marks. Just impact and a dead stop. Derrick said he was sleeping and doesn't remember anything.

I'll write more as I know more.

DUI

My son has been charged with DUI, but it’s preliminary, whatever that means. My brother is a Police Officer in El Paso and he said if they don’t charge him, and just let him go, and then the results come back positive, they can’t charge him. This way, if the results come back negative, they just let him go and drop all charges. My ex said when he got to the ER my son didn’t smell like he had been drinking but the police said the vehicle smelled of alcohol.

So, we can bail him out for just $262.00. BUT, if his BOC comes back to be over .08, he’ll go right back to jail anyway so we decided just to wait. The thing is, my son is so freaking kind-hearted and would do anything for anyone. I can’t imagine the guilt he probably feels knowing how hurt his best friend is. But he can NOT continue to live his life in the moment and being care-free and expecting his parents to help him all the time. He is 21. He acts like he is 17. He has always taken longer to mature than the rest of my kids. Maybe this will force maturity upon him and he will finally straighten himself out. But still, it kills me to know he is in jail. I imagine him in there thinking about Derrick, what happened, how he could have changed it, saying the “if onlys”, wondering why his mom and dad aren’t paying JUST $262 to bail him out. But I bailed my other son out of jail for his hit and run to the tune of $800 and he was just sent to jail anyway. What type of lesson will my son learn if he doesn’t take responsibility? But still, my heart and soul hurt, and Jamie is right, I feel such blame and such heartache, and it’s so humiliating to have two sons in jail now. Where did I go wrong? I have to tell myself it CAN’T be my fault with my oldest because he moved to Texas when he was 12 and I only saw him in the summers. So should I blame his dad? To some extent I do. He let that boy come and go as he pleased, had no curfews, and got away with way too much crap. My youngest son made the same mistake even professionals, doctors, lawyers, and yes, police offers make. Well, IF the results are positive anyway. Drinking and driving. And how ironic is it that on Saturday night, on my Facebook, I posted “Happy Halloween, just don’t drink and drive.”

And of course I can’t talk to my husband about this. For those of you that been reading my blog, you know how he feels about my boys and all the things that have happened. I don’t even mention their names around him, and if I told him about this, I would ALWAYS hear, “Well, at least MY son has never been to jail, and he goes to college, and blah blah blah”. So I can’t talk to him about this. And right now, that makes me even angrier. Hell, we got into it last night cause he informed me he was eating lunch with his kids today. I said, “Gee, thanks for inviting me along”. He never invites me to do anything with him and his kids and yes it hurts me, and it angers me. Why can’t he include me in their lives? When my girls are here he goes with us places and I invite him along. But when his daughter is here, it’s like it’s just him and her. They make plans, go places and never ask me and my children to go along.

All in all, I guess I’m doing okay, but I am very frustrated, angry, confused, sad, and all those emotions rolled in to this one little head. My soul hurts. On the way home from work yesterday I had a very strong calling to just get on the interstate and drive and never look back. Just get lost and never be close to anyone again. It’s so hard caring about people, worrying about them, getting humiliated by them, hurt by them.. I’m just so very tired. I imagine myself being alone somewhere, way up in the mountains, where no one can ever hurt me again.

Car Accident Pictures

Honestly, I can't even believe Derrick survived. He was in the front passenger seat. But I thank God he DID survive. His Guardian Angle was looking after him that night. That's what I believe. Someone knew that his mother probably couldn't survive another death of a son. And my son, I am 99% sure would have killed himself if Derrick had died.

As it stands:

Derrick:

1) Crushed ankle

2) Broken leg

3) Broken arm

4) Broken bones in his hand

He had his first surgery yesterday and had rods put in his leg. He said he doesn't remember anything before or after the accident, which is probably a good thing.

My son said he and his other friend, who was sitting behind the drivers seat (and was fine) had to yank Derrick out the driver side because they were afraid the truck was going to fall over the embankment. It was a guard rail that stopped that from happening.

My son:

Bruised up and in jail. My ex can't find out why he is in jail because he hasn't been charged with anything. I thought you HAD to release someone if they weren't charged with a crime. Someone help me out with that cause I know next to nothing about that type of thing. They took his blood to test for alcohol levels but said it takes two weeks to come back. Can they hold him, without charging him, for two weeks? I don't get it.

Thank you all for your prayers. I feel like I'm going to have a freaking heart attack at any minute. I'm just .... emotionally whipped out.

Car accident. and Update

My youngest son (21) was in a car accident last night. He was driving, and his ex step-brother Derrick (whose brother killed himself three years ago) was the passenger. Kekoa was crossing a bridge and his cell phone buzzed. He looked down to pick it up, hit the side of the bridge with the passenger side of the truck. Derrick was flown to San Antonio and they know he has a fractured leg so far. Kekoa is still in the ER getting x-rays. They were both wearing their seat belts.

That's all I know so far. WHEN will things stop being so ... hell, I can't even think. I'll let you know more when I find out. His dad is supposed to call me later when they get more information on both boys.

*************************************

It's noon here. My son was released from the hospital. He has a mild concussion and some bruised bone. However, Derrick is in surgery. Crushed ankle. Broken leg (bone was sticking out). Broken arm. Miles (my son's dad) went to the site of the accident and he said the right side of the truck is completely crushed and he doesn't know how Derrick even survived. I'll find out more when Derrick makes it out of surgery. There is more to say about my son, but I just can't talk about it right now. When is enough going to be enough??? I have freaking had it with all the negative shit surrounding my boys. I feel like a freaking failure as a parent and maybe I'm in shock, too. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm scared and I am thanking God that Derrick is alive. If he had not survived this accident my son's life would be over as well.

Happy Birthday Brice!!!!

Today is my oldest son’s birthday. He is 23! I could go in to the long story of how I got pregnant (I mean, you KNOW how, but the “story” behind the story). Or how grueling the 22 hours of labor were, with no pain meds to help, and the 2 ½ hours of pushing before I finally begged them to kill me, pulled my IV out, and had begun on pulling my hair out. They gave me a shot to stop contractions and I asked them to put me to sleep. When laying on the bed in the operating room, (because his was too big and never even descended!!! So I had an emergency C-section) before they put the mask on, they said breath slowly and count to 10. I bet I have NEVER taken such big, deep breaths in my life. Woke up and couldn’t breath, panicked and yanked the tube out of my throat that I did NOT know they had stuck in there and then couldn’t talk for two days. However, for the first 12 hours of those two days, I was in the ICU because they could not get me to stay awake, my heart rate was out of wack and my blood pressure was way up.

It was just horrible is all I can say about that. I was three weeks over due. He was 9 pounds 8 ounces, 22 inches long, had a head full of hair and LOOKED like he was about six weeks old, and could even pick his head up when laying on his stomach in the nursery. I am not kidding. I swear to God it’s true!

He was walking at six months of age. Hey I have proof in pictures! First hair cut on his first b-day cause it was down to his shoulders. He was always older than his age. He was quiet and extremely intelligent and excellent in sports. He is very funny and he doesn’t care who is around, he will hug me and tell me he loves me. He cares about me and he appreciates me, and he makes sure I know it.

Yup, my oldest is 23 freaking years old! I can’t believe I have a son that old. I still feel like I’m in my early 30’s and I probably act younger than that, and I have a child THIS old!

At four months old, on the North Shore in Hawaii. This is one of my favorite pictures for some reason.

Eight months old. He would go in the bathroom, shut the door, and climb into the sink. This boy was a freaking monkey. I would get up in the morning and he would be on the kitchen counter getting food out of the cabinet. I'm talking before he was even two! And he used to climb up and sit on the entertainment center. I have that picture at home but not on this computer. Uh, yea, there was NO keeping him in a crib!

Playing with the toothbrushes, as usual.

In other news, I saw Paranormal Activity on Friday night. Not nearly as scary as I had hoped and the first 40 minutes or so were actually kind of boring.

Then on Saturday we watched “The Strangers” with Liv Tyler. Now THAT was scary cause it could actually happen and it was based on actual events.

Also saw “The Happening” which had to be the worst movie that Mark Walburg has ever been in. I mean, I feel stupid for even sitting through it.

Other than that the weekend was boring. Chris’s back was hurting really bad and I took him to the doctor on Saturday morning. They put him on Steroids, muscle relaxers, and Hydrocodon. He couldn’t really do anything, and I didn’t do anything either. He said it was a relaxing weekend, and I said it was stir-crazy boring. I do NOT do boring well people!

Eight Cities with the Ugliest Guys

My brother, who lives in El Paso and happens to be a very good looking, funny, accomplished man, sent me the following email:

“:El Paso Men Ranked Ugliest In U.S., Says Web Site

Posted: 12:53 pm MDT October 20, 2009Updated: 1:08 pm MDT October 20, 2009
Web site ranks El Paso as No. 1 in a poll of "Eight Cities with the Ugliest Guys."

According to TotalBeauty.com’s review, "nearly 15 percent of the dudes in this Lone Star city have less than a 9th grade education. The city also suffers from a notably high rate of obesity, 32 percent are in below average health and 30 percent do not exercise regularly, which is probably why there are so few gyms in town."

No. 2: Hagerstown, Md.
No. 3: Miami, Fla.
No. 4: Greensboro, N.C.
No. 5: Mobile, Ala. and Huntington, W.Va. (tie)
No. 6: Detroit, Mich.
No. 7: Philadelphia, Pa.
No. 8: Houston, Texas

TotalBeauty.com studied education stats, contraceptive and erotica sales, the number of gyms, the population's health, exercise habits, obesity and smoking rates in every city in the U.S.”

My first thought was “How the hell does anyone know? It’s all a matter of opinion, right?” And honestly, it sounds like they didn’t actually ask WOMEN or anything. I think Dana and I feel the same way about surveys. There are SO many things that make them completely unreliable.

My second thought was “Miami? Really? I thought every single man in Miami would be hot and sexy and have women climbing all over them!”

And why isn’t ANY town in Arkansas on that list? I have been through Arkansas, many, MANY times! AND WV many, many times.

If you want see really good looking men though, you should check out the following;

Blase

Hallie's hubby
Jenn's boyfriend Zach (Zach is the stud in the last three pictures)
Mr. Nightime
Slyde
Savage
Surfer Jay

And if you are a man, and you aren't on the list, then you don't have a picture on your web site so how would I know if your good looking or not?PS. By the way, the list is in alphabetical order so I don't wanna hear no whining about what place you're in!PSS. Dear God. I hope I don't get hate mail or hate comments.

PSSS. * The opinions that lie herein are those of the blog owner only and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of others. So no hate mail!

PSSSS. I now have an appointment with a lady doctor for November 2! Woo Hoo!

Doctor, Doctor, give me the news.....

…I got a, bad case of the doctor blues!!

I finally called around yesterday looking for a new doctor. A woman doctor. Let me back up. The doctor I currently have, I’ve been going there for 15 years. But I only go to the doctor when there is something REALLY wrong. You know, bronchitis, staph infections of the eyelids, things like that. But here’s the thing. I have never been treated by my actual doctor. Nope, not once. Oh, I was treated by Joy, a 30 year old Nurse Practitioner, who left because she married the doctor who is about 25 years older than her. They currently have two kids. Then I was seen by Andy. Big jolly fellow with an earring in each ear. Then I was seen by Tom. A BIGGER jolly fellow who sounded like he couldn’t breath. Next was Kim. Kim is nice. Loves to talk. Loves to talk SO much that you can barely get a word in to tell her exactly what’s wrong with you. And I won’t mention the two ladies who are receptionists. Let’s just say a robot would have more personality, okay?

I haven’t had a physical since I was pregnant with my last baby. I haven’t had a … let’s see, “pelvic” exam (and yes, they look at WAY more than your pelvis!) since that time either. And with the problem I seem to be experiencing, which I mentioned in a previous post, I figured it was time but I have to have a woman doctor. I just HAVE to! Don’t ask why.

I called around yesterday and finally found a woman who is taking new patients. I had to give so much information over the phone, and then explain why I wanted to leave my current doctor, and go to a new doctor. The new doctor would have to speak with current doctor and decide if she will take me or not so that she doesn’t “step on any toes”. WTF?? Hello! I should be allowed to choose WHO I want to be my doctor! They told me it would take about 7 days. A few hours later I get a call that Greta, unfortunately, has decided that she won’t accept me as a new patient. I said, “WHAT?? WHY?” The lady said she didn’t know. I asked her if it was something personal, which made her laugh, and she said no but they do have another female doctor and she could check with her. I told her that was fine and then I said, “But please tell her that even if she won’t take me, I am going to find a new doctor that is female, and beg her for me, okay?”

But I’m still wondering why Greta wouldn’t take me. Did she decide she really can’t take more patients? I mean, our company has THE best health insurance around so it can’t be that. Does she know me from some where? Does she not like my name? My age? Am I too old for her? WHAT COULD IT BE!!!

I wish I had my girl’s doctor. He is the BEST ever!!!!! I love him and so do my girls.

Random acts of kindness

This morning I went through the McDonalds drive through for Chris, Leah and me. When I got up to pay the lady said, "That gentlemen in front of you paid for you". I said, "What? Who is he?" She said he didn't say, he just paid for the order. It was only $10.04 but it made my day! He was in a little red Mini Cooper and I just waved and mouthed thank you, and he waved back. Is that cool or what?

Leah and I are going to see Zombieland tonight after work! Woo Hoo! I want to see Paranormal Activity REALLY bad, but she won't see it, Alaina wouldn't go so I guess I'll have to wait till the weekend and Chris can go with me.

I have won four awards in the last month or two and I am SO sorry I haven't thanked you who have given them to me, or posted them. I have no excuse other than I'm a lazy biatch. I just TODAY have 0 in my blog reader and it's been forever since that has happened!

And damn people, for the last few months my left nipple itches constantly! Sometimes more than others, but the right one NEVER! No redness, no drainage, just driving me crazy itching and I swear sometimes I just stick my hand in there and scratch. Any ideas? Okay, I KNOW I could go to a doctor, but, I have REALLY smart and intelligent readers so maybe someone could save the me trouble!